2018 marks the 20th anniversary of one of my favorite shows, Sex and the City. Back in high school, my ambition was to be the next Dr. Ruth. That trajectory changed in college, when I decided I wanted to be the Asian Carrie Bradshaw. Alas, I have not followed through on either path, but it’s a funny look back into the past.
Are you a Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda or Samantha? That was the quintessential female question back in the early-aughts. My college best friend was a combination of Miranda and Charlotte (super efficient, professional with a touch or prim and proper) while I was more like Carrie and Samantha (neurotic with a wild streak). In retrospect, what did a small-town beach college girl like me have in common with the worldly, sophisticated women from SATC? I looked up to them because I, too, wanted to be worldly and sophisticated.
The one thing I will forever be grateful to SATC for was the phrase “he’s just not that into you”. My college boyfriend dumped me at the end of January 2005, but we were still sleeping together and “hanging out” through the following summer. I was in DEEP denial that he did not cheat on me while we were together and I constantly debated internally if he really wanted to be with me. After finding pictures of another Asian girl while helping him move into a new apartment, something in me broke. I bought the book He’s Just Not That Into You, which was a revelation: if he wanted to be with me, he would BE with me instead of stringing me along. I got the guts to sleep with someone else (because the easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone, amirite?! /s), because I remember my ex saying that if I hooked up with someone else, our arrangement was over. We hooked up one last time and I was finally emotionally detached. I told him I read the book and we were done.